The Detectives (1993)

'Tis the season to be jolly! And whilst others may be celebrating, our plucky detective duo, Louis and Briggs, can only think of one thing - avoiding the dreaded Christmas duty.

When Chief Superintendent Cottam suddenly disappears, Briggs and Louis follow his trail all the way to Canada to try to get him to come back to England, but will he be easily persuaded?

When the Earl of Lisson is murdered, Briggs and Louis try to discover ""who dunnit"".

A fanatical murderer has escaped from prison and Superintendent Cottam orders Briggs and Louis to catch him but the two detectives would rather be watching the F.A. Cup Final.

Johnny McKenna is an arms dealer and a keen golfer. Briggs and Louis have to get evidence of his illegal activities.

Briggs and Louis are assigned to act as advisors for a TV police drama.

Briggs and Louis find themselves on an assignment in Jersey. It isn't long before they get on the wrong side of Jim Bergerac.

Gangster Tony Mazola has been murdered. Superintendent Cottam thinks that gang warfare may be about to start. He sends Briggs and Louis on an undercover assignment to the Paradise Club in the East End of London.

Suspended after an unfortunate incident involving a suspected bomb in a briefcase, Briggs and Louis decide to gain favour by nicking some serious East End villains.

Two tough detectives are required to go undercover at a monastery. Unable to find any, the Super employs Briggs and Louis.

A Duchess keeps appearing in the tabloids canoodling withher police bodyguards. What the Super needs are two completely unappealing detectives...

On Customs and Excise duty, Briggs and Louis find themselves trapped in the back of a pilchard lorry - with a large quantity of diamonds.

Briggs and Louis masquerade as the manager and trainer of a boxer as they investigate a steroid that promotes raw aggression - and enhances sexual prowess.

Louis witnesses a brutal crime of passion while confined to a wheelchair, but has trouble convincing Briggs that it wasn't all in his mind.

As a lonely and meaningless retirement beckons after 25 years on the force, the boys are given the task of finding 'The Black Widow' after a series of gruesome lonely hearts murders.

After mixing their drinks at the policemen's ball, Louis and Briggs confront a new horror involving a flasher, a Marquess and the commissioner's wife.

When forced to transfer into the Fine Arts Squad, our heroes are despatched to recover the latest artistic creation of 'enfant terrible' Hadyn Smailes - a pair of maracas, a tin of peaches and a fish tank of the artist's own urine.

When Briggs and Louis investigate an attack on a top figure skater, the pair wind up on ice but fail to gain marks for artistic interpretation.

After 30 years of watching and waiting, Superintendent Cottam ropes the boys into helping him catch notorious bullion thief, Ronnie Richardson.

Briggs and Louis are assigned a case protecting the eggs of a newly-discovered breeding pair of red kites. Teir lack of enthusiasm soon turns to panic as the eggs are stolen.

Louis and Briggs are cuffed to a notoriously slippery customer as they escort him to his latest prison by train. So how do they end up crossing the Yorkshire moors carrying a toilet door?

Louis and Briggs are called in to investigate a murder that has taken place during the re-creation of a medieval battle scene. However they are more concerned with the police football quiz.

After Briggs and Louis manage to murder the last female white-flippered turtle on the planet, they are only too pleased to investigate a drug scandal at an exclusive girls school.

Briggs and Louis mistake the new Superintendent for a stripper at Cattams farewell party.

Although Louis and Briggs have been assigned to a security operation at Wembley Stadium, they have their minds on winning the police table football tournament.

The Superintendent selects the duo for a particularly sensitive assignment. His granddaughter has become involved in an anti-road protest and he needs Louis and Briggs to 'rescue' her.

When a gang member is shot during a getaway, Briggs and Louis are dispatched to the hospital. But with so many sick people, doctors and nurses around, Louis' hypochondria knows no bounds...

A night patrolling the marshes, on the lookout for an escaped bear, is really not what our heroes had in mind - particularly when their umbrella act for the Super's variety show is really coming together.

When Briggs and Louis, helped by a mysterious Commanch Chief, go on the hunt for a sacred Indian carving, they soon find themselves on the trail of tragedy, death and disaster...

Much to his and everybody else's astonishment, Briggs is chosen to be best man at a colleague's wedding. When he discovers just who the bride's father is, Briggs isn't exactly keen either...

Briggs and Louis have found their true vocation - the river police. With peace, quiet and the total absence of any type of crime, it seems like paradise. Then the boat runs into an unexploded WWII river mine...