Arli$$ (1996)

While being nominated for the civic honor "Man of Our Times," Arliss must juggle one client's plans for a same-sex marriage on the opening night of a huge ice-skating tour, Kirby's gambling habit, and another client's financial ruin and impending unemployment.

While high-school hoops sensation Shaler Halimon announces he'll skip college and jump straight to the NBA, Arliss positions himself as Shaler's agent and uses the opportunity to settle a score with team owner Buddy Reingold.

AMM client and boxing champ Sucre Rey Santos finally gives in and grants top contender Cojones Ochonez a title fight. The huge payday means Arliss can finally buy that Gulfstream Jet he's had his eyes on. But when Ochonez is arrested and tossed in jail, the fight is no mas. However, Arliss gets the governor to sign off and approve the fight, allowing HBO to televise the Battle in the Bighouse, live from the state penitentiary.

Temptation gets the better of squeaky-clean QB Dan Hendricks. Arliss battles with a client's desire to confess his sins to the world while keeping the suspicious media and his scorned wife at bay.

L.A. Kings owner Flora Lansing dangles part-ownership in front of Arliss if he can find a new home for her hockey team--provided there's a new stadium, complete with luxury boxes and PSLs. But this must be kept a secret! So Arliss shops the team to three prospective homes: Raleigh-Durham, Las Vegas, and Mexico City.

Mike Armstrong, president of multinational CPM, is interested in buying AMM. Arliss never dreamed of selling until he hears what Armstrong's paying. AMM staffers, particularly Kirby, Rita, and Stanley, know their boss is up to something and begin to worry about their job security.

A reporter overhears Arliss talking about the Jaboos of South Street, a rival stickball team from his old neighborhood and interprets this as a racial slur. A media siege begins and Arliss is under fire. Meanwhile, free-agent relief pitcher (and white supremacist) Trevor Heath decides to let Arliss represent him upon hearing the comments.

Why would Arliss even consider representing Anya Slovachek, the 186th ranked woman tennis player whose father is a psychotic maniac? Well, when he sees Anya with his own eyes, Arliss' mind is made up for him.

Arliss and Kirby decide to take beach volleyball to the next level by creating a new made-for-TV indoor tour with high-level glitz, oiled bodies, fluorescent sand, and heavy promotion. But everything goes afoul as the tour's top women's pair have irreconcilable differences, and one of the top guys infects his toe on a petrified kelp pod.

In the 12th annual Den of Thieves Rotisserie Baseball League, Arliss and Kirby hope their Frozen Ropes can bring the title back where it belongs, away from cosmetic surgeon Vic Freed and his hated Silicone Valley. Arliss must resolve a conflict of interest between the good of the Frozen Ropes, and the good of AMM client and Phillies ace Ned Bastille.

As a kid, Arliss idolized Hall of Fame outfielder Rocky Framaggio so much that he still carries around the Rock's rookie card. And now, after a chance meeting at the racetrack, Arliss decides to help the downtrodden Rock make some scratch and get back on his feet. But after the Rock strikes out at three job attempts, Arliss comes up with a stroke of marketing genius.

Catcher Zack Bowers can barely get the ball back to the mound, let alone to second base. The source of his problems: he suspects his wife is unfaithful. He demands that Arliss hire a private investigator to uncover the truth. Meanwhile, Kirby is asked to housesit Bruce Smith's 'cat'.

One of Arliss' long-term friends and clients leaves him when his fiancee declares it's time for a "fresh start." Meanwhile, Rita is dating a client and Arliss wants it to stop, or else.

Arliss is invited to dinner at the White House and he can't decide whom to invite as his escort. but that becomes the least of his worries when his bowling champion client, the controversial Turkey Reeves, gets in trouble with the law.

Kahoutec "Comet" Evans is a can't-miss tennis phenom whom Arliss discovered years ago when the boy stood as tall as his racket. Now that Comet has come of age, Arliss must juggle the boy's mother's wish for her son to go to college with his own wish to cash in on the young superstar's talents.

Sports Illustrated is planning an article about sports agents and will select one to grace the magazine's cover. Despite some early maneuvering, Arliss thinks he's out of the running. But "the working man's friend" puts on his best moves in OT when he risks his own life to save client Damian Niles, in the process displaying a brilliant grasp of NBA salary capology.

When Arliss throws out his back, his dream of playing in the Crosby Pro-Am with golf client Ryan Mason III is shattered. Enter Kirby Carlisle, Arliss' Man Friday. Kirby steps in to partner with Mason and assists the pro with his club selection.

AMM client Dan Manville is closing in on his 500th home run. Add that to the 500 stolen bases he's already chalked up, and he's the charter member of the 500/500 club. Arliss has everything in position for the "500/500 Experience," a huge Manville memorabilia tour on wheels, coming to a mall near you. All that's left for Manville to hit his 500th dinger--and for Arliss to get the ball.

Arliss is dazzled by marketing whiz Giselle Jaynes. She's charming, clever, and sexy - and she's filled with brilliant, cutting-edge ideas for AMM clients despite knowing nothing about the sports world.

It's a day from hell for Arliss Michaels: Stanley is considering leaving AMM, while client Sammy Stilton is about to be suspended for "assaulting" an umpire. All this as Arliss tries to get to the airport for a top-priority "secret meeting."

Arliss manages to get Kirby some airtime as a sports talk radio host. What better way to promote his own clientele - especially Yoshi Kobiashi, the latest pitching phenom nobody's ever seen. Before you know it, Kirby starts to rule the airwaves, and a star is born - and a huge deal for Arliss may be on the rocks.

After Kirby signs hockey star Luc Cassoulet to the biggest contract in AMM history, an extremely delicate situation develops: how does AMM get paid its commissions without going public that the client is a deadbeat? Meanwhile, Arliss has his hands full defending NBA star Dewayne Troy for assaulting a referee.

AMM client Theo Holt is the kind of football player every team needs: a reliable backup quarterback capable of winning games. But when Theo's team decides to let him go and there are no other takers for his services, Arliss begins to wonder. When Arliss learns about a league-wide rumor that Theo is gay, he resurrects Theo's career as only Arliss can.

Representing clients who line up against each other in the heat of battle is nothing new to Arliss. But he hopes to hold running back Quinton Holloway out of Sunday's game. It isn't because Quinton will face another AMM client, linebacker Chet Smitrovich. So when Arliss gets Quinton a new contract extension, it clears the way for a showdown.

Disaster hits AMM when Defensive Player of the Year Lucian Balboa is stabbed by a crazed fan at the office's annual Super Bowl party. Where was the security? How did the stabber get into the party? These are the questions Arliss has to answer. And now Lucian has decided not to play on Super Sunday unless Arliss can guarantee that the stabber will be locked up.

Whenever a rival agent passes away, Arliss always leads the feeding frenzy to sign the available clients. But when Leo Maroni bites the dust, 'Young Turk' Jeremy Brenner gives Arliss a battle in the scramble for new business. That's why Arliss signs Kit Ballew, a loser on the NASCAR circuit. But with nothing to live for, Kit starts tearing up the field, giving Arliss more than he bargained for.

Arliss has a comfortable arrangement with a Midwestern football powerhouse university: Arliss negotiates the school's exclusive network TV deal pro bono, and teaches an ethics class at the school. This provides him access to the student-athletes and creates a pipeline straight from the dorm to AMM. However, the pipeline may dry up when an investigation into legendary Coach Duffy's program reveals some improprieties.

AMM client Amadou M'Bow is in love. And the NBA center from Senegal plans to marry his beloved, Miss Lisa Levine of Long Island. When Arliss insists that Amadou get his betrothed to sign a prenuptial agreement, Lisa balks, wedding bells are put on hold and Amadou plans to hang up the hightops.

As a fierce rainstorm brings the city to a standstill, Arliss is virtually alone at AMM. That is, until pitching sensation Diego Sanchez, like manna from heaven, arrives at the office after defecting from Cuba. But Arliss must rely on some unexpected assistance to overcome the obstacles of the day.

AMM's financial whiz Stanley Babson is fed up with his conservative reputation. But when Arliss accuses him of always playing it safe, Stanley puts the company at risk by using clients' funds to purchase a racehorse.

Arliss knows as well as any agent that helping a client in his personal life is part of the job. So when all-star shortstop Joe Garrison asks Arliss to tell his wife that he's leaving her, Arliss obliges. But what happens between Arliss and Erica Garrison isn't necessarily part of the job--nor what Joe had in mind.

Lockouts and strikes are unfortunately a part of pro sports, and nothing does more to alienate the fans. But when a ballplayer crosses the picket line, he knows the true meaning of alienation. Arliss must consider the consequences of representing replacement player Jim Greenbriar after Greenbriar saves Arliss' life.

When Rita, the glue of AMM, gets her shot at representing clients, she proves herself an adept agent. Arliss, meanwhile, is helpless without his right-hand gal. To make matters worse, Kirby's cousin Fitz is Rita's fill-in.

Longtime AMM client Donnie Thurman isn't quite ready to hang up the baseball cleats. So when Arliss tells Donnie there are no takers for his services and then signs a younger ballplayer to a big contract, Donnie sues Arliss for conflict of interest.

An upset stomach leads Arliss to Dr. Irv's for a routine checkup. But when Dr. Irv expresses his concerns based on Arliss' family history, Arliss starts thinking the ""C"" word. Meanwhile, Kirby and Rita try to help a little old lady sell her late husband's treasure trove of sports memorabilia.

Arliss is so eager to sign high school baseball phenom Jake Battershell before any other agent does that he's willing to do anything to please Jake and his parents. Well, almost anything. Kirby's effort to help AMM client Seth Carson focus on his duties as a pro quarterback go further than anyone expects.

Fourteen-year-old skating champion Crystal Dupree is an AMM cash cow. But she learns the hard way, with Stanley's assistance, that Mom and Dad may not necessarily have her best interest at heart. Also, Kirby resists shutting down the ""KIRBY CARlisle WASH.""

When the Lakers move from the Forum to the Staples Center, there will be fewer courtside seats, and the ticketholders with seniority will maintain their floor seats. Arliss is not one of those ticketholders, and desperately tries to find a way to keep his cherished seats on the floor.

It's fight night in Las Vegas and AMM client Ivory Ortega needs to get past Tomate de Cannes before a huge showdown (and payday!) with Oscar De La Hoya. But Arliss needs to act fast when he sees that Ivory is in no condition to box after a fight with his wife.

Arliss gets fogged in while in Kansas City negotiating shortstop client Rico Rosa's contract with team owner Helga Krupp. Helga's an un-P.C. penny-pincher, making her an easy target for just about everyone. Meanwhile, the AMM bowling team is relieved that Arliss, the weak link on the squad, is AWOL.

The NBA lockout allows Arliss the opportunity to focus on the other aspects of sports representation, particularly his female clients. At Rita's urging they take on WNBA player Terry Shaw. Terry is unlike anyone AMM has ever represented, creating a newly found awareness and appreciation of women's sports.

When The Korean government insists that AMM client, pitcher and native son Ja Ahn Kim serve in the Korean military, Arliss' deal-making expertise is put to the test. Meanwhile, AMM client and hockey enforcer Doug Hager is banned from the NHL and seeks a new career in professional wrestling.

Cooter McCoy is world-renowned for playing before huge crowds. But the country singing sensation wants to play baseball, not music, and seeks Arliss' assistance. Meanwhile, Rita and Kirby try to help Stanley find the woman of his dreams.

Rap-master extraordinaire T-Bagg enters the arena of sports agency, and a few AMM clients jump ship. And, with Arliss bedredden with chicken pox, it's up to Kirby and Stanley to make things happen at the NFL Draft.

Arliss uses money from his foundation to buy off a bad childhood memory.

Feeling long in the tooth, Arliss gets a makeover, hoping to turn back the clock. Rita dates rival agent Justin Sturgess and Stanley is asked to join a prestigious country club.

Arliss buys a rare piece of memorabilia, and sends a client to a hypnotist to help him quit chewing tobacco. When treatment appears to work, Arliss sends Kirby there to quit gambling. Meanwhile, Rita tries to keep an LPGA client from falling off the wagon.

Arliss learns that a good friend and client, who is about to be elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame, is being charged with domestic abuse. Meanwhile, Rita's activist friend sides with the client's wife.

Arliss has to walk the fence when two clients, both teammates, are dating the same girl. Rita plays Cyrano for one of the clients, and a TV reporter shows up to do a ""Where Are They Now?"" segment on Kirby.

Arliss must help a client bury his mother. Meanwhile, Stanley's having a run of bad luck that threatens his chess game, so he goes looking for a ""slumpbuster."" And Kirby comes face-to-face with his own slumpbuster from 18 years ago, and must face the consequences.

Arliss tries to talk the ""pot dealer to the NBA"" out of retiring by offering to get his kid into a fancy private school. Meanwhile, Rita plays a relationship with a physical trainer by ""The Rules.""

Arliss has an affair with a WNBA coach, but his client (also the coach's star player) wants her fired. Meanwhile, in the aftermath of a wild birthday celebration, Kirby and Rita suspect they may have ""done it.""

A baseball client needs a kidney, and Arliss tries to convince the player's minor-league brother to donate his. Meanwhile, a soccer client scores a goal for the opposing team, causing him to take refuge at Rita's apartment while Kirby goes into hiding.

When one of his boxing clients enlists in the Army, Arliss tries to figure out a way to get him out. Meanwhile, Stanley and a native-American tribal chief attempt to get a football team to change its ""offensive"" mascot.

Arliss, Rita and Stanley must deal with Kirby's absence when he leaves the agency to join a fledgling football league run by a flashy TV producer.

Arliss tries to get a dotcom millionaire team owner to re-sign an aging broadcaster who may be losing his touch. Rita ghostwrites a column for Arliss, and Kirby helps discipline Stanley's unruly dog.

Arliss pursues popular mascot Reggie the Rooster, using a fundraiser Stanley has organized for another mascot, who was injured in the line of duty. Rita takes up boxing after a series of obscene phone calls.

Arliss is named executor of a superstar jockey's will, which leaves everything to his wife - but he had two wives. Kirby discovers that his former coach is now homeless.

Arliss' ne'er-do-well brother Archie uses his name to further a scam. Kirby and Stanley plot their own scam on a stadium concession millionaire. Stanley purposely swallows a ring that turned up in a burger.

Arliss deals with the domestic problems of a female tennis superstar. Kirby helps a basketball client graduate from college.

Arliss treks to Canada in an effort to steal a hockey team; Rita uses alternative medicine in her war against age.

While Stanley and Kirby consider investing in rodeo, Arliss rekindles an old flame.

Arliss must deal with a racecar driver's numerous wives while trying to sign him.

Arliss tries to get a husband-and-wife broadcasting team their own show; Kirby deals with a spoiled clients's new ""hobbies.""

Arliss seeks revenge on a baseball manager who embarrasses him; an actor studies Kirby as research for a movie role.

Kirby reps a mercurial college basketball coach; Arliss is frustrated trying to sell beachfront property.

While Rita is visiting her family, Kirby and Stanley prepare Arliss' ""surprise roast.""

A female pro-golf client conceals a dark secret; Kirby gets hold of a piece of rare memorabilia.

Arliss faces his first year in the red, while Kirby deals with his model girlfriend.

Arliss deals with a revered baseball legend and his namesake daughter. Stanley escorts a boxer to his HBO debut.

Rita manages a client's political passion, while Arliss helps a team member find her passion. Stanley's new car gets dinged

Arliss works to make an NBA client's dream come true, while Stanley mentors a student project.

Arliss hires a protégé, to the dismay of Kirby. Rita is attracted to the chef at Stanley's new restaurant.

Arliss tries to realize his gold record dreams while helping a baseball player through a tough decision.

Kirby dates a female body builder, while Arliss motivates a traumatized NFL client.

Arliss and Kirby support an ex-client's political rise while Rita seeks a spokesmodel for a specialty clothing item.

Stanley advises his sought-after football-star nephew on choosing the right college, while Arliss helps a female football reporter negotiate with network executives who see her as too old for the job.

Arliss and Stanley try to persuade a reclusive former chess champion to get back into the game, and Rita is wooed by a former lover.

Stanley and Kirby try to persuade boxer Roy Jones Jr. to endorse an innovative cooking product, while Arliss is smitten with Rita's sports photographer friend.

Stunned by the sudden death of a good friend, Arliss goes off on a road trip of soul searching, leaving Rita, Kirby and Stanley to manage AMM on their own.